A "get started" kinda post

I went through my "electronic journal," trying to find something interesting to snip and post here on my fancy new blog ... and all I could come up with was this. Not that there wasn't other interesting stuff in the ejournal ... just not stuff I'm ready to make public yet. Mostly poetry. I'm a freak about my poetry - ask anyone who knows me. ANYWAY ... this is from September 7, 2005.

So I've managed to catch a head cold. My head feels like it's being squeezed between Britney's now massive thighs, my nose is running, and I keep sneezing. I'm the picture of sexy today, let me tell ya.

I've been having some really weird dreams of late. The other night, I dreamed that my Dad and I were working at a ranch somewhere, and somehow, a horse had died. Dad managed to get its body into a rather large hole ... and then he asked me to cover the hole and BURN the horse's body. I remember frantically searching for enough material to cover the hole, but also incessantly worrying that my friends Jill and Shelly would absolutely freak if they knew what I was doing. I don't think the fire actually happened in the dream ... I remember seeing car lights heading our way, and then Dad making a run for the main house. And naturally, I woke up.

When I fell back to sleep, I began dreaming I was visiting my sister Julie. When I arrived at her house, it took me a very long time to climb the ridiculously huge set of stairs leading to her front door. Her three boys were still children in the dream, and in "real life," they're 27, 25, and 20. Lots of chatter ensued, and I noticed my mother was outside on the balcony, so I ventured outside to join her. She asked me to make her some tea, so I went back inside to do so ... but my sister began chastising me for my "reckless" behavior and "childish" actions. I screamed at her that I was 34 years old and not a child anymore ... not that she was even around when I was a child, seeing as how she was in college and thisclose to being married when I was a tot. She stormed off, and I began brewing lemon tea. And then, of course, I woke up.

NOW -- according to "dreammoods.com," here's a quick breakdown of what all this BS supposedly means.
Dream # 1: "To see a dead horse in your dream, indicates that something in your life that initially offered you strength is now gone. This may refer to a relationship or situation." Hmmmmm. It seems odd that a horse would signify this, but I have a pretty good idea what it might be referring to ... but it's odd that it would manifest itself this way. I keep wondering if the horse connection isn't simply me worrying about Jill. THAT makes more sense to me ... but I'm no expert, as they say."To see your father in your dream, symbolizes authority and protection. It suggests that you need to be more self-reliant."I can buy this, sure.
Dream #2: "To see your sister in your dream, symbolizes some aspect of your relationship with her, whether it one of sibling rivalry, caring, protectiveness, etc. Your sister may draw attention to your family role and sense of belonging. It may also serve to remind you that someone in your waking life has characteristics similar to your sister."
LOVE this. I don't see my sister Julie and I having any sort of rivalry -- we never have. The protectiveness thing makes sense, though, because she's going through some long-term serious shit with her husband. SERIOUS shit. And the last time I saw them both together, he was a total twit. Last week, they came to visit my Mom, and Mom told me he was a bit better, but still a bit of a jerk. I'm sure Julie found a place in my dream because I'm concerned that she's compromising herself for this guy, regardless of the length of their marriage, etc. And I'm sure seeing my nephews as kids again was simply because in my mind, they still are children. I've never really interacted with them as adults. I wasn't able to attend one's wedding last year, and I've been bothered ever since ... it would be wonderful to see the men they've become. To dream that you are walking up a flight of stairs, indicates that you are achieving a higher level of understanding. You are making progress into your spiritual/emotional/material journey. It also represents material and thoughts that are coming to the surface. Intriguing, to say the least. Perhaps because of all the crap Tony and I went through last year, coupled with Jill's current predicament and my recent email chats with other friends who are unhappy with their marriages, I'm struggling to understand Julie's decision to stay with a man who so seriously wronged her. Or maybe I see something of myself and my own unsavory behavior in what her husband did. I love Psych 101 stuff! To dream that you are making or drinking tea, represents satisfaction and contentment in your life. You are taking your time with regards to some relationship or situation. I see this as a very good thing, because I've been very attentive (well, at least via phone) and caring toward my mother recently. She's been having a run of poor health and subsequent problems, and I've made a conscious effort to call a few times a week and just chat with her. So making her tea and drinking it with her in my dream felt very pleasant. So ... who knows? There are times when I think dreams are just the mind's way of burning off excess stimuli. But I've taken enough psychology classes in my time to also believe that they really are a window into the subconscious. I need to invest in a big, fat dream dictionary and stop relying on the Internet. :-) Sorry if this was boring. It was just heavy on my mind this AM.