turn that frown upside down

Went to see a little film called Loggerheads yesterday ... part of the local Gay and Lesbian film festival. I'm glad we did our part to support the event ... I always mean to attend these things, but invariably end up not doing so. So a big kudos to Adam for suggesting it (not to mention funding it - hehe). Now, the film. Sigh. It was "okay." There was something sweet about the performances -- including a standout Bonnie Hunt -- but the film was riddled with cliche after cliche. There was an AIDS angle. The men were unfulfilled. There was religious oppression. Homophobia. Posturing and judging. As I said .. "sigh." I wish someone would come along and surprise me ... make a gay-themed film that's actually GOOD. Loggerheads wasn't BAD ... but it wasn't GOOD, either ... if that makes sense.

Of course the argument can be made that cliches are present because they exist and are all around us. I suppose that's true. I know a lot of unfulfilled people, though, and they aren't all gay. I think the biggest reason that happens to someone is they end up placing all their ideas of happiness or fulfillment on one person. All their eggs in one basket, if you will. The older I get the more I realize my happiness is mine to control, and no one else's. It isn't anyone else's job to make me happy. It's mine. And even though I feel like giving my two-week's notice a lot of the time, I'm accepting my job responsibilities. I do think I'm getting better about realizing the power I have over my own mindset. There are years of bad conditioning to get through, but chink by chink, I'm destroying those layers of "I can't." I'm the quintessential "work in progress." I'll get there. I know I will.