It feels like Monday.

My iPod has decided to freeze up again. I am so pissed. This is the third time, and now, of course, it's out of warranty. As much as I love the thing ... right now, I'd love to throw it against the wall. But that's too negative. I should be happy I've had it as long as I have, and just save the money for the repair and shut up about it. It could be worse. It can always be worse.

I think it takes a lot more energy to be sour, crass, and rude all the time than it does to simply muster a smile or "go with the flow." I'm not saying one has to jump and down with glee just because the hot water works in the morning, or sing a song of delight because one manages to make a perfect cup of coffee. Being around an overly cheerful person or someone very Kristin Chenoweth-like is enough to make me crazy, too. There are extremes, absolutely. I've been guilty of the frequently surly attitude, sure, but I can't imagine what it must be like to hate everything and everyone in the world ... just "because." It must be exhausting. Not to mention lonely and disillusioning.

I've been really tempted to call my "friend" and say "What the hell is going on -- are we really going to continue not speaking?!?" but ... I just can't do it. I apologized, at the time of our conversation, for what I had supposedly done "wrong," and I don't think the ball's in my court on this one. And I'm stubborn. And still hurt. So ... to hell with it. Harumph.

Jill called this morning just to chat. She's really wanting to go on another "getaway" soon, and I'm all for it. We keep talking about Vegas ... and I am so there. We have to figure out a way for Shel-Ho to join us this time, though. With the lodging issue taken care of thanks to the Fletcher's timeshare, we're just talking plane tickets and "mad money" here. If we plan far enough ahead, it is a definite possibility. We'll probably have to wait until after the first of the year for this trip ... and hopefully we'll be able to make it work for everyone. I miss Shel and her big big titties.

I have a million things to do at work today, but, like most days, I'm just not motivated. It's a hard place to work sometimes ... very little recognition, lots of responsibilities, and a rather psychotic owner make it a giant headache, most days. But I don't want to dwell on work -- that was one of the things I was accused of doing by my "friend," and I certainly don't want to alienate the three or four of you who actually read this blog. Just send good vibes my way and continue hoping, along with me, that something different presents itself soon.

As much as I miss the friend with whom I've fallen out of contact ... I'm not sure contacting this person would be the best choice for me right now. I'm still very angry. And hurt. Mostly hurt. I was rereading the email I received from this person, announcing the intention of "pulling away" for a while ... and the pain was just as sharp. I'm still trying to pretend it didn't happen...

Anyway ...

Yesterday was my Mom's 83rd birthday! GO MOM!