I'd like to thank the Hollywood Foreign Press ...

So ... The Golden Globes.
"Globes" was the theme of the night, apparently, as numerous actresses decided to go braless ... a trend I just don't understand. When your breasts are pancake-like, it's never wise to display them unsupported. I adore Drew Barrymore, but she looked just awful with her pendulous mammaries flopping beneath her classy gown. And Emma Thompson? Oh, badly done, Emma ... badly done. Her introductory speech regarding Pride and Prejudice was very fun, but the braless look did her no favors. Goodness.

Queen Latifah opened the show with a nice speech about Martin Luther King, Jr. I thought she looked quite nice, her dress a lovely complement to her bright complexion. It was a bit tight around the middle, but there's something imminently likeable about Latifah, so all is forgiven. She looks so much more comfortable with her new, smaller breasts. U-N-I-T-Y!

There were some surprise winners (Rachel Weisz, anyone?), but overall, the Globes skewed just about how I assumed they would. I think the wins for Philip Seymour Hoffman and Felicity Huffman pretty much cement their Oscar chances, and that's okay. I would personally choose Heath Ledger's performance over Hoffman's, but I think Hoffman's strong body of work will push him to the top. Haven't seen Huffman's flick yet, but the previews and clips I've caught certainly look promising for her. She's the best part of Desperate Housewives, so yay for her.

Random Globe musings:

• Kate Beckinsale is stunning and looked fantastic.
• Evangeline Lilly looked pretty, but her dress looked like a nightgown.
• Mariah Carey seems to think she's about 60 pounds lighter than she really is. I'm convinced she has Glitter playing on a loop somewhere in her home, a la Dorian Gray.
• Can someone please explain to me what Pamela Anderson was doing on this program? And what in God's name was she wearing? It looked like she robbed Celine Dion's Vegas show costume department.
• I truly loved S. Epatha Merkerson's speech. She's very deserving.
• Geena Davis looked lovely, as always. I'm still not entirely convinced that she isn't a drag queen, however.
• I have a burgeoning crush on Heath Ledger. He seems so happy and in love with Michelle.
• Steve Carell is hilarious and I loved his speech. He's kinda sexy, too. (ACK!)
• Jason Lee, although I know he's in character for his show, really looked like a trailer park resident who had accidentally crashed the party.
• I do not like Penelope Cruz. At all.
• Who would have thought Melanie Griffith could pull it together and look a bit more than decent? I could do without the tattoo, but she really did seem proud of her daughter. The daughter, however, looked less than interested in being Miss Golden Globe. SMILE, BABY!
• I would have to be forcibly removed from Matthew Fox if I ever met him in person. Woof.
• I adore Virginia Madsen. She, too, should have worn a bra ... but I just love her.
• Joaquin Phoenix always looks like he's forgotten to take his anti-anxiety medication.
• File Laura Linney under the "doesn't get enough recognition" category. She's pretty much always the best thing in every movie she's in.
• Hilary Swank looked very pretty ... I didn't see who her date was, but I know it wasn't Chad. Boo. :-(
• The Desperate Housewives all looked lovely, but Teri Hatcher was a bit frenetic on stage when the show won a surprising Best Tv Series - Comedy Globe. I think my favorite part of the broadcast was the look on Felicity Huffman's face when Hatcher grabbed the mike and spoke before the show's producers. Mrrrow!